Session Log 8

January 25th, 2017

The Spring Seneschal has contact me again, apparently the quality of documentation produced by our little cohort has become unfortunate; I've been asked to fill in while the Court's spell checking and obscenity filtering it brought up to military grade.

Things may be a bit brief as I am also organizing the Summit for the local supernatural community regarding the Angel v Fey conflict on the horizon.  I have the acceptance notes all queued up in the mail merge, I'm sure everything will go just fine.

"We are so pleased to welcome <MIGHT BE USEFUL> as a representative of the Were-wolf contingent.  Out of respect for our allergy impaired guests, we request you remain largely human for the duration of the engagement.  If you have any questions please contact us at the number provided below; which, as it also happens to be a vet clinic known for low standards and few question, is probably a number you should hang onto anyway."

I include passages in this record that involve times when I was not present or, in all honesty, interested.  These are based on the best effort of those involved to provide details, context and semi-believable self-aggrandizement.

I’m not going to list the people involved anymore, realistically they aren’t that important and if you’ve read this far you already know far more than you ever wanted to.

I believe the last report ended with the Spring event I organized.  That went reasonably well and the cohort used the following several weeks to descent, predictably, into their own personal wells of despair and self-incrimination.

Mi-OK is back in rehab.  I’m not sure anyone actually committed her this time, I suspect she is simply considered a permanent resident.

Solomon has been in Los Vegas prostituting himself for the pleasures of his “Sugar Mama” de’jour, as well as erasing various less than charitable aspects of his past.

Rowan has been engaging in romantic liasons with the vampire Liz, a delightfully stacking of both necrophilia and lesbianism of which I highly approve.

Ave has been playing music on the street for money and Jacob has been hiding in a small cubby in the Hollow.  As to the later I have no idea why, but find the idea of children that put themselves away delightful.

Jesse has been spending his time up till now off camera, which all things considered, was probably  his smartest course of action.

"We are so pleased to welcome <TOKEN INVITED FOR GOOD PRESS> as the only known representative of the Golem contingent.  Please be aware that in the case of excessive attendance, you may be used as furniture."

Solomon received a call from a client, as this is a relatively infrequent circumstance for him and it took him some time to remember the procedure. Eventually arriving in his office, he discovered the client to be the Duke of Windswept Blossoms   Apparently he wished to hire a professional and had mistaken Sol for one. He wishes Sol to investigate the death of one of his aspects – the Marquess of the Last Constellation, murdered apparently 20 odd years ago.  Sol gave him a standard contract off the internet which the Duke finds quaint and outlines the fee which as it does not involve favors, service or children, which the Duke finds confusing. The Duke departs to locate a means of payment Sol does not find offensive or illegal.

The Queen called me, as she does, to once again salvage her social calendar. This time she wishes me to organize a summit of the local supernatural community to brainstorm a way to get the Angels and High Fey to have their war elsewhere, if at all. While I am somewhat dubious as to the ability of several changeling, a houseboat of werewolves and one sandwich monster in poor circumstance to impact the direction of Fey politics, it is my role to serve and I begin the arrangements for 2 weeks hence.

Dimitri contacted Persephone and warned her that her father is in town and looking for her at the houseboat. We’ve never met, but he sounds delightful.

Jacob has apparently started dreaming the actions of his fetch. You remember, the geriatric serial killer setting a new can-do standard for AARP members everywhere. The vision involved something about a young man in a cage and a lot of whimpering. One would think the child would appreciate his own educational channel but alas not.  He contines to hide in the closet (both literal and metaphorical). 

Ava had some sort of a fight on the bus with a Grasshopper monster, mainly notable for its ability to incapacitate Opener of Ways. Honestly, I don’t think her music is that bad but no accounting for taste. Showing uncharacteristic good manners, she waited to get off the bus before shooting it; at which point it teleported, as apparently they do.

 
Persephone continues to be a strange magnet when someone, apparently wearing Victorian garb non-ironically, walks up to Persephone on the street and tells her that when someone offers her the cure, don’t take it, things will go poorly.  One is forced to conclude there’s a batch of bad penicillin out.  In any case she gives Persephone her phone number and departs.

"We are so pleased to welcome <LARGELY UNIMPORTANT GUEST> as a representative of the Were-parakeet contingent.  As it turns out, there are more of you than anyone was aware of or felt strictly necessary."

Solomon received a phone call, a woman apologizing for “her getting out”.  Upon further investigation, it turns out to be the wife of Solomon’s fetch which managed to impregnate her.  Point of related interest, that’s not supposed to happen and when it does the children are generally strangely powered abominations.  In this case an escaped abomination with a daddy complex for Sol.

"We are so pleased to welcome <IS THIS ACTUALLY A THING> as a representative of the Wraith contingent.  Please be aware that this invitation was largely pro-forma as it is unlikely that anyone will know if you actually show up."

Persephone's estranged, and strange, father continues to stalk her with what can only be considered the best of intentions.  Obtaining her phone number, readily available on a myriad of restroom walls, he leaves her a voice message requesting that she contact him.  She calls him back, leaves the message “no” and hangs up.  I might actually be feeling a moment of affection for the woman.  Sorry, no, false alarm, poorly considered lunch selection, moving on.

"We are so pleased to welcome <TOKEN INVITED FOR GOOD PRESS> as a representative of the Supernatural Pet and/or Construct community.  Please label yourself prominently so as to avoid being used as cutlery and/or snack items."

Jacob had a human faced mailed to him in the mail.  I’m sure there was a reason why, but it never came up.  On the plus side, it got him out of the storage closet.  I supposed body parts are what Winter Court does for Legos.

The Duke returned to Solomon’s office later that day with a cashier’s check.  One has no idea how he obtained it but one suspects a bank teller somewhere is going to have something extra special for their therapist next session.  The contract is signed, using ink much to the Duke’s disappointment.  Solomon is officially on the case!  This would be somewhat more inspiring if he were an actual private investigator rather than a poorly educated lawyer specializing in money laundering, but one works with what one has available.

I received a call later that afternoon from Haros.  You remember Haros, he was the Icon of Death that attempted to storm our Hollow.  Apparently, I left something of an impression and he has decided to taste the delights of the flesh, or at least as much of a facsimile as his current incarnation will allow.  I scheduled him for dinner and some rigorous education.  I’ll go into more detail later in this document, but things went reasonably well, one can never discount the sessile pleasures of emaciated flesh over a good bone structure.  I suspect we’ll date again.

"We are so pleased to welcome <TOKEN INVITED FOR GOOD PRESS> as a representative of the Psychic Hotline community.  But then you already knew that."

Jacob, one supposes invigorated by his recent face delivery, decided to reach psychically through the bond he shares with his Fetch to see if he could improve the video quality of his recent visions.  He is rewarded with the full body experience of his other self, somewhat diminished by the fact that the Fetch is, rather uninterestingly, driving a van through Capitol hill.  He is able to get some information on the van and requests Rowan contact Annie to see what information can be obtained.

"We are so pleased to welcome <TOKEN INVITED FOR GOOD PRESS> as a representative of the Anime Monster community.  Translation and speed lines will be provided at no additional cost.  Please be aware this is a hentai free event."

Ava abruptly vanished in the early afternoon.  No one actually noticed, so we’re taking her word for it.  Apparently she was transported by Ow to a nicely appointed castle in some other reality to be “kept safe” by Leofric.  Given this is the second time he has abruptly intervened to ensure (and thereby threaten) her safety, I think we can safely upgrade his interest to “a little stalkery”.  Ava’s response was, in her words, measured; but one expects some nuance was lost in the translation (nuance, in this case, being loosely defined as a stunningly vast litany of explicatives).  Long story short, Leofric claims something she “met in the darkness” but doesn’t remember got out and is now looking for her.  Given the number of “things from beyond” that are currently attempting to intervene in Ava’s life it’s not a surprise they are tripping over each other.  I’m told there’s a convention in Florida, get your tickets now, at this rate they’ll be selling out fast.  Ava eventually got her Fae version Jewish Mother in Law to admit it was the grasshopper creature she shot earlier, also known as the “Last Indigo Scholar”.  Being a scholar one would think it would be aware of the difference between “indigo” and “green” (as in grasshopper) but apparently the Fae version of no child left behind doesn’t apply to the insect set.  Eventually Leofric succumbs to Ava’s indignant verbal tirade and returns her.

"We are so pleased to welcome <TOKEN INVITED FOR GOOD PRESS> as a representative of the abandoned Familiar community.  For what it’s worth, we at least pretend to care."

Moving into the lead for awkward situation Sol decided to meet with his Fetch’s ex-wife (for those of you skimming the log, she’s the one who birthed the recently escaped abomination baby she kept in a cage for 19 years).  He relayed to her that as he had been kidnapped by faeries and kept in captivity on another dimension for the last 20 or so years, he was not, technically, responsible for the baby.  Which, in all fairness, is more believable than what one general encounters in family court.  She eventually, and somewhat surprisingly, believes him and gives him a copy of the ritual to bind the child.  Sol consults with the Duke of Windswept Blossoms and they eventually put the pieces together and realize that the Duke’s other incarnation (the Marquess) had been attempting to help Sol’s sort of ex-wife with the abomination and got unmade for her troubles.  So that came together nicely.  The Duke wishes the child killed and the general consensus is that might be for the best.

"We are so pleased to welcome <IS THIS ACTUALLY A THING> as a representative of the Skeleton or Highly Decayed Undead community.  As vocal contributions are problematic for you, we have provided a small stage wherein you may comment via interpretive dance."

In related news, remember my encounter with Haros?  I neglected to mention how it ended, mainly because it required context which you only now have.  During an interlude in our amorous encounter I found myself being stroked by a delicate hand.  Given I was more in the headspace for emaciated, this came as something of a surprise.  It turns out Sol’s abomination (she later introduced herself as “Brie”, so well mannered, as abominations go) came into my home via our Hollow (as, apparently, one does) and decided to join in.  While surprise guest stars are not an unusual element of my erotic adventures, the ”unmaking” aspect was something of a “softening agent” in this case.  I was able to charm her and get the well mannered abomination out of the bedroom long enough to get Haros to safety and text the rest of the cohort.

Brie took this time to wander into the back hard and unmake one of my shrubs.  While I agree the placement was awful I have people for these sorts of things.  In any case it kept her entertained long enough for the rest of the group to arrive, including Jesse (remember Jesse?  I told you he would be useful) who as an immortal might be immune to her powers, or at least we were willing to experiment a bit and see (I said useful, not important).

"We are so pleased to welcome <TOKEN INVITED FOR GOOD PRESS> as a representative of the Cat Fancy community.  We are fascinated by your potential contributions now that we realize you represented a supernatural community; as opposed to, say, a mental illness."

While Jesse was speaking with the well-mannered abomination Persephone’s dad arrived at Rowan’s clinic to speak with/claim/violate her.  He encountered Liz (Rowan’s undead lesbian paramour – seriously this thing needs cliff notes) and a firefight broke out.  The Duke of Windswept Blossoms and the Last Indigo Scholar also arrived and commenced to have intercourse in a hallway between the two combatting parties, for reasons that were never made clear.  Upon receiving word I decided Jesse had things in hand and went to the clinic as how often does one have the opportunity to participate in what appeared to be a real time Fellini movie?

As I understand it things went reasonably well back at the house.  The well mannered abomination was eventually lured into a cage in my nicer sex dungeon and re-bound.  I was initially a bit put out but have since decided that provided appropriate lighting a floating naked woman surrounded by glowing runes gives the place a certain atmosphere (and Bruce Cheline was so very proud of his fog machine; top this amateur).

The firefight ended with no serious fatalities, helped to some degree by the fact that both sides regenerate.  Persephone confronted her father who offered her a “cure” for her Fey nature.  Remembering the somewhat abstract warning she received from a complete stranger, she refused and they parted on a sour note.  Somewhat awkwardly Dimitri chose to leave with her father instead of remaining with Persephone.

For those of you playing at home we now have a new leader in the “Persephone Romantic Entanglements” game.  Orpheus has moved from second to first place and is now offering 2 to 1 odds.  Dimitri has fallen to second, offering 5 to 1.  “Probably will die before anything can become serious” is holding steady at third with 10 to 1 and Hade’s “At least I’ll be a princess” option remains last at 50 to 1.  Please contact the Court bookies to place wagers.

At this point all members of the cohort have returned to their respective day jobs and we anticipate no further awkwardness before the Supernatural Summit.

"We are so pleased to welcome <IS THIS ACTUALLY A THING> as a representative of the GHE*(DD community.  We are also somewhat surprised as the strong money in the office was on you being a typo in the excel spreadsheet.  Please contact us with any special requirements should you continue to exist and not be, for example, Betty in Marketing thinking she’s a lot more amusing than she actually is."