“He’s not getting to creepy, he’s arrived.” - Dave
“(thoughtfully) I’m going to dress him like the child from the Omen.” - Meridian, regarding Jacob
“What is it you want you moon-faced assassin of joy?” - How Solomon answers the phone
Rowan: “He did ask for Solomon, he doesn’t want the rest of us.”
Meridian: “Well there’s no accounting for taste.”
Dave: “‘Liege Lord’ my ass.”
Cort: “Sometimes.”
Meridian: “Do you have any nice glasses? Wait, who I am even talking to?”
Rowan: “There are wine glasses upstairs!”
Meridian: “I’m sure there are sweetie.”
“Put it on the list of ‘bitchisms’.” - Jessie
Sarah: “There was sort of a committee forming, I was wondering if you were interested in joining.”
Jessie: “Sure! What’s the committee for?”
Sarah: “There’s a sort of war building up …”
Jessie: GROANS.
Meridian: “Have you ever heard of the Duke of Windswept Blossoms?”
Queen of Spring: “Only by reputation.”
Meridian: “He’s in the office across the way.”
Queen of Spring: “I’m sorry WHAT?”
Meridian: “I served him refreshments.”
Queen of Spring: “WHAT?”
Alice: “It’s our daughter-”
Dave: “... Excuse me, this needs to be done.” [Plays the DUN DUN DUUUUUN]
“This is what you get for using OK Cupid.” - Cort
“I’m so glad the werewolf collective could make the committee, please call me back at this number if you need anything - it’s a veterinary office, so you should get a twofor!” - Meridian
“I’m so glad the were-parakeet community could make it, there are far more of you than we ever thought. Please be aware that this invitation is performative and you’re expected to sit quietly in the back and eat something.” - Meridian
“They prefer the term werebudgie” - Dave
“I realized I wasn’t in a normal place as soon as I met your receptionist.” - Jessie
“I’m so happy to assume the attendance of the representative of the wraith community, this is largely performative, as we will not know if you’re here or not.” - Meridian
Meridian: “Are you or any of your current animal companions experiencing discomfort, anal bleeding, or slight nausea?”
Jessie: “I’m experiencing slight nausea now.”
“Please be aware that if your bodyguards are unable to contain themselves they will be kenneled.” - Meridian
“YOU’RE GETTING A BOOTY CALL FROM THE GRIM REAPER!” - Dawn
Solomon: “So, we haven’t met.”
Alice: “My uterus disagrees.”
“Is there someone you could ‘sub contract’ to?” - The Duke of Windswept Flowers, re: Hitmen
“Nothing improves and orgasm like a crisp high-5.” Jessie
Jeremy: “You hear in the clinic ‘Persephone! Are you here?!’”
Ariel: “I close the door to the clinic.”
Meridian: “Can you use hedgomancy to get here?”
Jessie: “No. I have a Suburban.”
Ava: “FUCK EVERYTHING.”
Meridian: “Lord knows I’ve tried.”
“That’s gonna be super awkward, I’m going to have an evil entity in my sex dungeon. She’s going to have to watch.” - Meridian
Jeremy: “They’re going at it in the hallway.”
Cort: “Taking off the robe, tossing it aside, ‘HI!’”
Ariel: “Fuck him in the ear.”
Cort: “Harder than you think.”
“Damn it, you have an enchanted girl in my sex dungeon. This is the worst Reeces’ commercial ever.” - Meridian
Solomon: “Meridian, are you really going to tell me with a straight face that you only have ONE sex dungeon?”
Meridian: “This is the good one.”
Jeremy: “What have your characters learned this session?”
Cort: “Meridian has all the skills necessary to be a receptionist!"
Zerxes: (voice mail) "Persephone, this is your father. I would like to meet. Call me back."
Seph: (calls back, when he picks up) "No." (immediately hangs up)
"I love to be invigorated." - The Duke
"Blood bomb and a small array of crackers." - Meridian
"I need gold, or possibly a large amount of 'doo-lars.'" - The Duke
"You got two daughters for the price of one!" - Ava
"Hello Anime Monster community. Thank you for attending this event. Subtitles will be provided. Please know that this is a hentai free area, please plan accordingly." - Meridian
Ava: "There's fucking nothing wrong with my language."
Rowan: "There's fucking nothing wrong with her language."
Solomon: "At least throw in a 'mother fucker!' in there once in a while!"
"#BringBackGrim" - ??? (Dawn I think?)
Leo: "I don't have a good plan."
Ava: "Clearly."
Ava: "I'll use the google!" (she immediately poofs)
Meridian: Would you be interested in having sex with a naked woman in my yard?"
Dawn: "Send nudes."
"And someone is having sex with a grasshopp-- OH GOD IT'S THE DUKE!" - Diego
(throwing off his bathrobe) "Hi!" - Meridian