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Session3

Page history last edited by bucketmouse 5 years, 5 months ago Saved with comment

 

MARCH 24th 2015: TUESDAY

(Notes recorded by AVA MORENO REYES)

 

 

Look alive sunshine! After the hard day’s night we had to deal with we pretty much decide to shut this popsicle stand down for the evening. Jacob had milk with honey to help him sleep because he’s twelve, I’m told Persephone slept badly and I know I didn’t get a wink of sleep. I ended up just getting up and cleaning the fucking kennels and shit then going out early to grab breakfast before Rowan’s godawful early morning started.

 

While all was quiet on the western front I guess Persephone had a shit morning too. Joanna was pretty ticked the fuck off actually because they got an early morning flower delivery that woke her up, addressed to Persephone. Can’t imagine that’s really helping her fit in with Team Duran Duran. Card said somethin like - I shit you not man - YOUR MAJESTY, I LONG TO SEE YOU AGAIN. ~O” like who the fuck writes like that? Wait, who the fuck normal writes like that, I mean. It’s like a big fucking joke but ain’t no one is laughing thanks to the crazy train we’re all riding on. Anyway Joanna, pissed off, rejoining this program already in progress. She ended up asking if Persephone had a ‘side bitch’. Like don’t get me wrong I love Seph but I woulda had to high five her if I’d have been there. Asks her if she’s a secret princess from Denmark or some shit. Like Persephone even looks like she’s from Scandanavia, right?

 

Anyway this leads to Persephone making good on her previous promise to say what her deal is, but needless to say the whole abducted by fairies thing doesn’t sound any more sane when SHE says it, so after Joanna clearly is like “Okay that sounds fake but okay,” Persephone ends up dropping the mask or showing the mask or what the fuck ever it’s called, I don’t know the fucking verbage. She shows off the magical sparkly fairy self. That’s a bit more convincing. I guess she was able to get a good anger pull off of Joanna for the trouble so it wasn’t the glamor hit that normally is.

 

Seph and Joanna agreed that if a sparkly motherfucker showed up no one was going to be happy about it is the point after their whole hilarious pissing contest. So that was HER morning at Casa de Hambre Como el Lobo.

 

Bout that time that was finishing up I got a text from Benji sayin he talked to his boss and she’d be alright with a meeting with us to arrange shit proper for whatever allegiance we had going down. I ain’t the plan person so I flag down Rowan who is kinda Boss de facto far as I see it on account ‘a Rowan being the smartest and most rational one. Like that sounds reasonable right? Right.

 

Rowan names a time later today and I pass that on, so Benji shoots me a text back naming a place downtown. Business concluded, since I already got Benji on the line I use the time to ask him how the other Ava is doing. Apparently she vanished which I can totally dig, like I’d run the hell away if I didn’t have shit to deal with here too. Guess I learned better get going when the going gets tough. He asked if I ever woke up in Vegas which needless to say is a big no. Awkward as fuck since even if I haven’t made those choices like I can totally see why and where she’s comin from. Whatever. I had more to say but decided to table that, I’m still figuring out texts and we’re gonna see him later anyway I figure.

 

Rowan sent out a group text naming the time and place but Mi-Ok had this all day rehab thing and Bones who I still haven’t met just never replied I think. Solomon still had the case shit he was working on yesterday taking up his time and I guess Meridian is knee deep in art and can’t be bothered. So it’s team Rowan, Persephone, Ava and Jacob.

 

What’s the fucking worst that could happen, right?

 

Anyway since shit seemed to be handled for the time being I went out busking to see if that helped my mood any. Round that time Persephone went up to Ballard Blossoms where the flowers were ordered from to see if she could get to the bottom of what the ever loving fuck was going on. Not like a dozen red roses in a fancy ass vase is exactly cheap. Least I don’t think it is, not like I knew before and my info’s a bit out of date.

 

She ain’t the happiest camper when she gets there but when she gives her name and asks about who the ever loving fuck sent them the shop keepers know instantly because the asshole paid in cash. Voila, they hold up some Monopoly Money.

 

Well at least we know whoever “O” is ain’t a normie to pull that crap. The description they give isn’t anyone we know. Tall dude, long blonde hair and guitar so like a hippie right? Cept apparently he smelled really nice so maybe not a hippie. There goes my guess. I tried and therefor no one can criticize me. Pretty unsatisfied with everything Persephone decides to meet up with her fetch to ask her a few questions and do some nerd shit I guess.

 

In the meantime some tall blonde lady shows up to the clinic and tells Rowan she’s there for Jacob. Like ain’t nothing overtly sneaky about the lady but I’m happy Rowan was paranoid as hell and verified her identity first as a member of the winter court for certain by doing like this light trick to see if she cast a changeling shadow. I didn’t even know that was a thing. We should just set up big lights in the lobby don’t you think? Table that, moving on at a fast and furious pace. When Rowan also asked Jacob he said he knew Beverly, the name she gave. Or at least he knew someone with that name who was indeed Winter Court, so Rowan reluctantly agreed to let Bev talk to Jacob. Gotta look out for the kidlet. Rowan gave them a little privacy but not enough that the doc couldn’t overhear them. Lady pulled out this big ass accordion folder and told Jacob that the Winter Court got a belated hit on Jacob’s possible identity and asked if he knew of any FBI connections?

 

Bitch he’s twelve what the fuck do you think?

 

So shit goes about as well as a snowball’s chance in hell needless to say, considering pretty much NONE of the photos she brought were appropriate to show to a kid except for this vague police sketch of an older man that could maybe be an older version of Jacob? Eventually Bev gets the bright idea to talk to Rowan instead, which really shoulda been step one but whatever. Comes out that the hit on Jacob’s identity was in FBI records. Was specifically in FBI cold case and possible paranormal connection files. Was straight up a fingerprint match on a case file for a goddamn serial killer that has been active for AT LEAST a confirmed forty years at this point, at this point being because the bitch is still active and has killed as recently as a couple days ago. In Portland. Oh and did we mention that since Jacob has come back out from the Hedge the killings have been moving steadily west and north in that time? And his signature involves ritual occult kinda shit and cutting out people’s hearts and leaving them in the freezer.

 

Call me crazy but I think Jacob wins for worst life.

 

So Rowan sends out ANOTHER mass text letting everyone know what the fuck just happened and like I wanna stress all this shit has been happening at the same fucking time I WAS GONE FOR AN HOUR. AN HOUR.

 

Rowan agrees I should head back so I grab lunch and shit on the way since we all need to eat our feelings after this bullshit of a morning we have going and also new rule is Jacob’s gotta have an adult with him if he leaves the clinic at all. Rowan figures that her fetch has to be dead by now of an overdose or some shit but with the way things have been going recently they decide it’s better to make fucking sure. Surprise surprise, Rowan finds someone going by one of their old aliases on social media with photos showing a much older person but still almost definitely Rowan. Last update the doc could find was on a site called OK Cupid? Whatever that is? Said they were in Jersey City as of last year. I’m almost surprised they hadn’t turned out to be in Seattle too with the way this circling cyclone of crazy has been converging on this city.  Regardless, Fetch!Rowan is PROBABLY not a serial killer which I can’t believe is our new bar for how bad it is.

 

When I get back it’s bird convention reenacting a Hitchcock movie out front, birds of all fucking kinds just chilling together in a way that is def not natural. This is some dogs and cats living together shit. There was a raven and a pigeon just chilling next to each other. I whistled at them and shooed them because like I don’t want to step on these feathery assholes or anything even if they’re blocking my way and they gave me the stink eye but I had some choice words for them in return. Our resident animal whisperer was gone so Rowan did their best once I told the doc what was going down outside, but no one felt like talking. So we fed them bits of bread and stale chips while we ate and I sang to them because whatever an audience is an audience.

 

Back with Persephone, she asks her fetch who is apparently named Korey if she got any flowers or creepy shit like that, and Korey told her she didn’t but she did get a post it that had ‘LIAR’ tacked outside of her dorm door a couple weeks back which I’m sure has absolutely nothing to do with the current situation and is just a crazy random happenstance.

 

Pause for effect.

 

Deciding to get to the clinic early for our later meeting, the birds scatter when Persephone shows up which is also surely just some fucking random coincidence. Ha. Ha. Ha. She explained her possible stalker with the flowers and Rowan asked if the stalker could control birds which you know would be like so fucking cool.

 

I mean like that’d be shit for us sure but it’d be a rad thing to be able to do, you know? Badass.

 

Anyway I figure now is like the greatest time to mention my intention to go back into the Hedge later in the day once we got our meeting done. And everyone asks why I want to have “us” do that and I’m like my compadres this ain’t an “us”. I’m doing with, no one has to come with me, I’m just letting them know that’s what I’m doing. This is my stupid impulsive decision and I’m not taking anyone else down with me you know? But we a family now which like is super touching and I’m not even being sarcastic here because family’s fucking everything man so we go together.

 

When it comes time for the meeting I offer to drive but like Rowan’s car is fucking weird? It doesn’t have a fucking clutch? It’s an automatic? AUTOMATIC WHAT ROWAN. HOW CAN THE CAR KNOW HOW TO SHIFT GEARS BOSS, THIS MAKES NO SENSE THE CAR DOESN’T HAVE A FUCKING BRAIN.

 

Persephone ends up driving so I call shotgun and we fought over the music a bit but settled on a classic rock station which was cool because I knew most of those songs.

 

The place we end up meeting Benji and his boss at is called the Capitol Grill and let me tell you that shit is fancy as all fucking get out. No one told us to dress up though so we’re just us, but the hostess takes one look at me and is all ‘You must be Ava,’ and leads us to the back. Some people give Jacob a weird stare but fuck those guys.

 

So we end up lead to this crazy ass back room that is even fancier than the rest with this huge round table and a giant fucking buffet and the only people in the room are Benji and this lady who isn’t Iman but is totally Iman and is absolutely rocking the intimidatingly hot look. Rowan’s boss like I said before so Jacob hides under the table with Rowan’s therapy cat while Persephone and I get some stuff to eat and Rowan does the talking. Benji introduces Not-Iman as Panya Jefferson, the “effective” head of AER.

 

I tried to listen in to what Rowan and Jefferson were discussing and I think like almost all of it went over my head because I kinda missed when the start of this shit went down about a box or whatever so I’m mostly along for the ride here. Jefferson explained that AER was in the business of keeping track of like supernatural antiques? I guess? The point is the box isn’t really the same thing as what they normally track but it is an item of interest. Jefferson and Rowan figured they were on the same page for put that shit back in the ground or at least keep it secret keep it safe. AER hasn’t been able to get any solid info about where exactly the box is so they’ve mostly been tracking the interested parties for it, which was how they found us in the first place. They knew about the homeland security place but hadn’t been able to get anyone inside. This is where we come in. Like, metaphorically. Literally we were already in the room. So Rowan volunteers us for recon but wants some back up in the inevitability that things go “horribly pear shaped”.  Jefferson asks how badly Rowan expected it to go and Rowan said that we didn’t have a lot of good impulse control. Persephone and I took offense to that statement. Jefferson asked whether Rowan meant armed guards or divine intervention and IN SPITE OF JEFFERSON APPARENTLY HAVING ACCESS TO THE LATTER Rowan clarified meaning the former. Also, ski masks.

 

Everyone decides that’s enough planning to rock and roll on and Jefferson leaves and like it’s weird because like… she walks, but like … she doesn’t walk? It’s like watching a fucking statue move. Benji walks her out to her limo then comes back which is good because I wanted to talk to him more and he like instantly pours himself a glass of wine and is clearly like exhausted from that whole thing like the intimidation hangover exhaustion. Rowan asked, just to be sure, if Jefferson wasn’t human. GET THIS SHE’S A FUCKING MUMMY. AWWWW RIGHT NO ONE SAW THAT COMING, RIGHT? No bandages or shit!

 

Wait is that offensive? Uh. Maybe I should like. Cut that out.

 

Anyway apparently like AER was made… for her I guess? I dunno. It’s complicated, but she can be trusted and when Bertha hit the thing it woke her up in the process, so the box is baaasically hers. And anyone who is anyone who is a death obsessed corpse fucker is wanting this box. Death related fae (like Persephone and Rowan’s former keeper), necromancers, weirdo werewolf death cults, the whole nine yards of Finnish black metal of the supernatural.  Also they’re basically the black ops branch of AER, so they have backup locations and the like.

 

Rowan and Benji set a mission time for 10pm that night, and before Benji leaves I ask to talk to him a second. Like I was gonna see about talking to my Fetch or whatever but she’s AWOL and I wanted to go with Mi-Ok so she could drag me away if I did anything stupid and SHE’S busy so okay talking to Benji’s like next best thing right? The point is I asked him to tell her that whatever she was worried about or whatever - like I wasn’t going to go after her or try to steal her life. For fuck’s sake she’s had it longer than I have. I know I wouldn’t want to look over my shoulder like that, so I know she won’t want to live that way either. Dunno if it’s going to do any good, but I can’t not do nothing. It’s awkward.

 

Since we have a few hours to blow this seems like the perfect time to do the Hedge trip I wanted. Rather than rip a new hole open we head down to Pike Place to hit a doorway already there and Persephone texts her BF Dmitri to let him know what’s going down later and to ask him to come with. For some reason she didn’t appreciate Rowan and I asking about Werewolf-changeling babies.  Rowan and Persephone don’t want to go into the hedge without some kind of rope so we get two giant ass skeins of yarn to bring with us. It’s like a mile of yarn or so, combined. To make sure we don’t lose the entrance and that no one follows us, Rowan and Jacob stay near the door with one half of the yarn while Persephone and I head out with the other half. I want to find where we saw Leofric fighting Cerberus before. Like, I just want to make sure there isn’t a body there, you know? That’s all. I need to know he’s alright, and it isn’t like he has a fucking cellphone.

 

And I know the Hedge is rough for like everyone who isn’t me so I do remember to thank everyone for comin’ with me and remind them they don’t have to, but hey. Family.

 

With a little work Seph and I manage to find our way back to where the fight was before. No body, but a bunch of dried blood and scuffle marks all around. Tire tracks from some three wheeled vehicle and strange holes dug into the ground. Basically a whole lot of WTF. I took some pictures in case someone else has a better idea later. While we’re trying to figure out what the hell happened here in the interim guess who fucking shows up but three of those feathery assholes that were hanging outside of the clinic a few hours earlier. They keep saying ‘key’ and seem confused when Persephone and I demand more info. Like that could mean anything. House key, apartment key, car key, mail key - they gotta be more specific.

 

Finally after way too much back and forth and really I was considering just throwing a rock at them then they clarified that the ‘king’ wants the key, and that Persephone smells like the king. Or the key. Anyway which king that is - three guesses and the first two don’t count. So I tell them they can fuck right off in not so many words.

 

Then of course the feathery assholes prompt about Leo. They call him the traitor and say that yes he’s alive but he’s hurt. They want help finding the key in exchange for finding him, and while I do want to find him I’m not that fucking stupid. I can find him on my own. Persephone wants to head back to Rowan and Jacob but after a little back and forth she agrees to keep going at least to the end of the yarn before we turn back. That’s the only deal the feathery assholes want to make so we tell them if that’s all the help they’re gonna be they can just leave and we go looking to follow the blood trail on our own.

 

Of course when we find where the blood trail leads it’s a dark cave where there’s no light, and that’s when the yarn runs out.

 

Of course, needless to say I tell Persephone she doesn’t have to follow me but I’m going in.

 

Since they had no luck with Seph and me I guess the ravens tried their luck with Rowan and Jacob which went somehow worse for them. Rowan doesn’t even consider a bargain and tells the to fuck right the hell off. They try to say Persephone’s in danger and Rowan says too fucking bad for her then. No deal. Pretty fucking badass.

 

Jacob apparently tried to feed them leftovers from the buffet. Aw, kidlet.

 

Anyway Persephone comes with me into the cave anyway which is good because she hears the breathing before I do and we run into this like wall of fungus blocking the path and I can’t do shit about that but Persephone can slice a pretty decent pathway through it. It releases these gross ass spores that are not pleasant at all but I’m not about to let some fungus stop me so we keep going. As we go deeper there are spots in the darkness that are even darker than the shadows already there, and as we get closer they start to reach out with these creepy ass tendrils that look more than a little familiar so I take a risk and call out for Leo to ask if he’s here.

 

When we hear the soft “... Idiot.” from deeper in the cave and the tendrils recede, I know it’s him and let him know that I’m relieved to find him alive and well and that I’d been terribly worried about him.

 

Okay what I actually said was “Fuck you too” but like at this point I’m pretty sure he knows what I meant.

 

Leofric looks like himself when we find him. Well the himself that he always showed me, so only his garden variety creepy that I’ve gotten familiar with. He says we shouldn’t have come  - well that I shouldn’t have come I guess - and you know what he can just fucking deal with it because friends worry and maybe if someone wasn’t such an emotional dumbass that wouldn’t be such a strange thing. It was nice to get into some of our old banter again. It was just me and him for so long for me, I forgot how bad I missed that familiarity even though it hasn’t even really been a month yet. Not that I was gonna do something pathetic like cry.

 

We find out that the reason he was fighting Cerberus before was because he heard my name associated with something that some various true fae lords are looking for. I’m guessing this is the whole key/box thing. I told him to stop putting himself into danger because of me, but considering how little I listened to him I don’t see that being anything other than a two way street of fuck you I do what I want. He was hurt but recovering, but wasn’t willing to come back with us to see if Jacob could help him. I didn’t want to leave him like that but the other option was just sitting around until he got better and I was getting the impression that wasn’t really an option though let’s be fucking fair here I’d like to see the asshole try and stop me. I told him to let me know when he was safe and back home, however the fuck he can do that, and we agreed to let him be.

 

I’m holding him to that, he better not think I’m somehow above finding his bitch ass again to make sure he isn’t dead.

 

I should have said more. Told him more. Apologized. I’ve always been so shit with goodbyes, though. I’m just so much better at just fucking leaving.

 

We got out okay is the point here though, only had been gone bout an hour I think? We were still back in time to do the whole mission impossible shit we’d planned later in the night. For some reason Persephone got all flustered about us asking if she was gonna bring her boyfriend with her.

 

Well three’s company, not only did she show up later with Dmitri but some other werewolf from the clan called Geoffrey and like okay first off the dude was a scarecrow all super tall and lanky and not knowing how the fuck to talk to people so like okay this is familiar and shit.

 

Anyway I GUESS Jacob was listening in when the boss and I were joking with Persephone earlier about Dmitri because no sooner did they fucking roll up than no shit he asks Persephone if she’d kissed Dmitri yet.

 

I KNOW RIGHT?

 

I totally hugged the kid I mean who could stop themselves. I think Persephone turned into a statue for a bit. Look I’m not saying that this was a ‘both sides want to but no one wants to risk fucking it up by making the first move’ situation but look Dmitri wasn’t terribly surprised or shocked that the question. Goddamn girl just go for it.

 

Anyway bout then Benji asked who the fuck Geoffrey was because he recognized Geoffrey as someone AER had under surveillance so it was like all ‘okay how do YOU know him and why is he here?’. Geoffrey said he was there because the ghosts told him to be. Totally not creepy or anything. I told him look Persephone’s cool that means Dmitri’s cool ergo one of Dmitri’s buddies is probably also cool? Like better than average chance of him not being a creep and we were working with a little bit less than the usual suspects anyway so it was like buddy we can be beggars or we can be choosers here about the help we get.

 

We totally got outfitted with like bulletproof vests and shit like you see from the movies. Well sorta like you see from the movies, they didn’t exactly make them in Jacob’s size or any of our sizes really so even the small ones were at least a little big for most of us but it was still pretty cool. We had a ways to drive so it was fun talking to the black ops guys and askin’ them bout themselves between offers to serenade Dmitri and Persephone if that would help any.

 

We also got all this totally awesome headsets and shit and were told not to use real names, that kinda deal. Rowan got the camera on account of Rowan being the most responsible one and again, boss. The plan was for Team Fairywolf to get our asses in and call for backup of the heavy artillery variety if we run into trouble.

 

Like I said before they ain’t never been inside but they did have a good map for us to follow to get to the office without running into any cleaning crew or shit. Key card got us in the front door, and some good ole basic lockpicking got us into the office itself. And Diego said we didn’t live like that anymore and I’d never need to use that. Psh.

 

In the office looks about like what you’d expect from the robot that Meridian plugged earlier. It belongs to someone else now but smart money’s on another robot. The whole place gives me a weird ass feeling and apparently I’m the only one who has the spider sense here but it’s definitely coming from the main feature of this room which is a I shit you not giant 1950’s free standing safe. Total movie set bullshit, big enough to walk into, big lock on the front. Well I had good luck so far so Rowan lends me a stethoscope the doc had on them and I try my hand while the others look around some. Turns out the back of the safe is just fucking covered in these occult runes and shit that no one can recognize. While everyone’s pondering that I get the safe popped open, and inside that is another door. Like, where the very back of the safe should be. Shouldn’t be nothin but empty air and wall on the other side. I pop that open and across it is another office. Not even like a mirror image, clearly a different office, but one that shouldn’t be there. This is some five and a half minute hallway bullshit.

 

After some back and forth with Benji and a lot of cautious testing, Rowan figures that our communication shit doesn’t work on the other side of the safe door. The box clearly ain’t HERE so we don’t got much choice. Meanwhile Geoffrey just goes in and takes a look around. Old computer, calendar for 1999. Goddamn.

 

So we make another plan, Benji says we got an hour and a half before he comes in guns blazing. Rowan switches the camera to record instead of transmit and in we fucking go.

 

It is indeed 1999 and on the bright side except for Persephone and the Werewolves we were all in Arcadia at the time so we didn’t have to worry about running into ourselves in the event of really shitty time travel bullshit.

 

Geoffrey points out that this side is, like the other side, weirdly free of ghosts in the area. I don’t know why but that’s like one hundred times more creepy than being told we had a shit ton hanging out. It’s still nighttime, and in Belltown, so we were able to look around without being interrupted. The weird feeling I was getting was stronger on this side, right around the center of the building which we were on the second floor of. Grabbing a chair to check it looked like the weird feeling was down instead of up, so we find the stairs and go down to the basement which needless to say was fucking creepy central, red alert lights blaring ‘Chewie I got a bad feeling about this’ creepy.

 

And I know a thing or two about creepy.

 

In the sanitarium blank hallways there’s a bunch of closed doors. We follow the weird feeling to a door marked utility closet and I shit you not there was some fucked up frankenstein shit going on in there. Banks of machines and tubes and fucked up crap like that and in the middle a fucking magic circle of occult bullshit with a goddamn slab of meat hanging on a hook in the center of it goddamn.  I’m gonna be seeing that shit in my nightmares for a while.

 

The symbols matched the shit on the back of the safe in the first room, and this time Dmitri was able to recognize it. Straight up tin-hat wearing conspiracy theory illuminati-fucking bullshit apparently. We don’t know exactly what it does but good guess is that it’s connected to the time warp and no one fancies getting stuck in 1999 so we decide to just kinda back away slowly and not touch anything.

 

Since this is understandably the weirdest thing down here I can’t pinpoint if the box is here so we just start checking every other room. We find a giant Jacob-sized egg in a crate, and a head in a glass box with a lot of tubes attached and a quarter slot. Rowan shoves a quarter in and we find out it’s basically a magical question answering head. So I dig out another quarter and we ask Geoffrey if the ghosts told him the name of the box, apparently spooky scary skeletons referred to it as the “Box of Judges” which totally isn’t ominous or anything. Head-in-a-box is super helpful and gives us a room number to check when we ask about that. Sure enough, inside that room is a 4x4 box all black and gold inlay with a bunch of egyptian style motif on it. Ding ding ding we have a fucking winner.

 

Ultimately we decide that not touching the box is probably the best plan so we empty the egg out from the crate it was in and use that to put the Box like and Egyptian in and get that sucker outta there post haste. Second we get back to the right time Rowan closes that safe up and flips the comms back on to tell them we got it - we were in there for a little more than an hour. Like all told felt pretty good about ourselves and all. Got the box and got the fuck outta dodge.

 

So of course that’s when everything goes to shit.

 

Now the next part is kind of a blur for me so I’m working on what other people tell me. I still hadn’t slept so I was edging on the 48hr mark and fast. We were all cramped into the back with the box and teasing Persephone about having a good time being cuddled up to Dmitri when we get rear-ended by what looks like a normal mid-sized sedan driven by a totally normal looking family who are all wearing their sunglasses at night - and that’s when one of our tires blows on the van.  

 

We’re thinking more robots, the “family” pulls up behind the van when we stop and they all get out with baseball bats ready for a goddamn rumble which seems a little under-powered as we’ve got half a dozen black ops dudes with assault rifles and two werewolves but okay robots whatever you do you.

 

Persephone throws a tear gas grenade on the off chance it’ll do something and they manage to take out two of the four “robots” right away. Cept turns out they aren’t fucking robots okay, they just straight up deflate like a fucking Macy’s Day Parade balloon. Pretty sure fucking robots don’t fucking do that. While the black ops people are doing that and the werewolves get in on the ruble the rest of us are staying back in the van guarding the box. We’re all thinkin the danger would come from that end when I get shot in the fucking neck with a fucking dart National Geographic style.

 

Joke’s on that bitch I couldn’t do shit to them anyway, waste of a fucking shot.

 

Doc gets me patched up and I’m trying to see where that came from while dealing with sleep deprivation, the adrenaline shot I got from the doc and the whatever the fuck was in that dart. Like I said my memory’s kinda shady bout what happened here. I think I remember seeing a depression in the front seat like someone was there but we couldn’t see anyone there? So I grabbed a tear gas mask and swung it and I definitely hit SOMETHING or at least something made a sound so invisible rabbity bitch is in for some trouble now.

 

Persephone missed her calling as a WWE champion alright she fucking manages to crap hold of Invisible Rabbity Bitch even without seeing him and the doc gets a good stab in and I think threw some chemicals on him too? Around then Jacob yells for help because they got the Balloon People taken care of outside so we got the van surrounded now so after doing SOMETHING to make Persephone feel weak but unable to break her massive hold on him Invisible Rabbity Bitch becomes Visible Tall Thin and Creepy and holds his hands up and surrenders. Douche.

 

Benji gets the cuffs on him but I’m told right after he got cuffed he looked the doc in the eye and said “Old habits die hard, don’t they Rowan?” and like, buddy. In a series of worse and worse life choices that had to lead you to here this is the cherry on top of that fucking cake of bad decisions.

 

I don’t remember much but I do remember that was an awful lot of fucking blood after that. I’d be scared of the doc if I wasn’t so worried about them. Fucker ends up bleeding out there on the ground, laughing. God damn, creepy.

 

I guess Jacob still tried to help keep the guy alive and Dmitri had to physically pull the kid back.

 

Using the Balloon People’s car and the black sedan that was suddenly noticeable that Tall Thin and Creepy probably drove we leave a couple guys with the van to wait for clean up and get the shit back to AER. We say we’re good and Geoffrey comes over to loom next to us because we offered to give him a ride back so Persephone and Dmitri could have some alone time. Also because we had more leg room in our car.

 

I was coming down hard from the adrenaline bout then but we had to explain to poor Geoffrey in the car about what Dmitri and Persephone’s situation was because he didn’t get what was going on with them, because there were rules for social engagement and he just didn’t understand. So we explained the whole when you been friends with someone for so long and you both want more but you don’t want to risk ruining what you already have in favor of taking that risk because what if you’re reading it wrong and it’s just wishful thinking on your part and everyone’s too chickenshit to make the first step.

 

I guess in the car Dmitri asked Persephone if he should take her to make out point to watch the submarine races and explained where that joke came from. Doesn’t really matter, he’s a huge dork. I see why she likes him I guess. Go on girl and get you some Persephone. If nothing else for those of us that have their relationship status permanently listed as “It’s Complicated”.

 

Fuck it I think this is everything, I’m gonna go pass out on doc’s couch for the next fourteen hours if anyone needs me y’all are perfectly welcome to fuck right the hell off.

 

MARCH 24th 2015: TUESDAY


Look alive sunshine! After the hard day’s night we had to deal with we pretty much decide to shut this popsicle stand down for the evening. Jacob had milk with honey to help him sleep because he’s twelve, I’m told Persephone slept badly and I know I didn’t get a wink of sleep. I ended up just getting up and cleaning the fucking kennels and shit then going out early to grab breakfast before Rowan’s godawful early morning started.


While all was quiet on the western front I guess Persephone had a shit morning too. Joanna was pretty ticked the fuck off actually because they got an early morning flower delivery that woke her up, addressed to Persephone. Can’t imagine that’s really helping her fit in with Team Duran Duran. Card said somethin like - I shit you not man - “Your Majesty, I long to see you again. O” like who the fuck writes like that? Wait, who the fuck normal writes like that, I mean. It’s like a big fucking joke but ain’t no one is laughing thanks to the crazy train we’re all riding on. Anyway Joanna, pissed off, rejoining this program already in progress. She ended up asking if Persephone had a ‘side bitch’. Like don’t get me wrong I love Seph but I woulda had to high five her if I’d have been there. Asks her if she’s a secret princess from Denmark or some shit. Like Persephone even looks like she’s from Scandanavia, right?


Anyway this leads to Persephone making good on her previous promise to say what her deal is, but needless to say the whole abducted by fairies thing doesn’t sound any more sane when SHE says it, so after Joanna clearly is like “Okay that sounds fake but okay,” Persephone ends up dropping the mask or showing the mask or what the fuck ever it’s called, I don’t know the fucking verbage. She shows off the magical sparkly fairy self. That’s a bit more convincing. I guess she was able to get a good anger pull off of Joanna for the trouble so it wasn’t the glamor hit that normally is.


Seph and Joanna agreed that if a sparkly motherfucker showed up no one was going to be happy about it is the point after their whole hilarious pissing contest. So that was HER morning at Casa de Hambre Como el Lobo.


Bout that time that was finishing up I got a text from Benji sayin he talked to his boss and she’d be alright with a meeting with us to arrange shit proper for whatever allegiance we had going down. I ain’t the plan person so I flag down Rowan who is kinda Boss de facto far as I see it on account ‘a Rowan being the smartest and most rational one. Like that sounds reasonable right? Right.


Rowan names a time later today and I pass that on, so Benji shoots me a text back naming a place downtown. Business concluded, since I already got Benji on the line I use the time to ask him how the other Ava is doing. Apparently she vanished which I can totally dig, like I’d run the hell away if I didn’t have shit to deal with here too. Guess I learned better get going when the going gets tough. He asked if I ever woke up in Vegas which needless to say is a big no. Awkward as fuck since even if I haven’t made those choices like I can totally see why and where she’s comin from. Whatever. I had more to say but decided to table that, I’m still figuring out texts and we’re gonna see him later anyway I figure.


Rowan sent out a group text naming the time and place but Mi-ok had this all day rehab thing and Bones who I still haven’t met just never replied I think. Solomon still had the case shit he was working on yesterday taking up his time and I guess Meridian is knee deep in art and can’t be bothered. So it’s team Rowan, Persephone, Ava and Jacob.


What’s the fucking worst that could happen, right?


Anyway since shit seemed to be handled for the time being I went out busking to see if that helped my mood any. Round that time Persephone went up to Ballard Blossoms where the flowers were ordered from to see if she could get to the bottom of what the ever loving fuck was going on. Not like a dozen red roses in a fancy ass vase is exactly cheap. Least I don’t think it is, not like I knew before and my info’s a bit out of date.


She ain’t the happiest camper when she gets there but when she gives her name and asks about who the ever loving fuck sent them the shop keepers know instantly because the asshole paid in cash. Voila, they hold up some Monopoly Money.


Well at least we know whoever “O” is ain’t a normie to pull that crap. The description they give isn’t anyone we know. Tall dude, long blonde hair and guitar so like a hippie right? Cept apparently he smelled really nice so maybe not a hippie. There goes my guess. I tried and therefor no one can criticize me. Pretty unsatisfied with everything Persephone decides to meet up with her fetch to ask her a few questions and do some nerd shit I guess.


In the meantime some tall blonde lady shows up to the clinic and tells Rowan she’s there for Jacob. Like ain’t nothing overtly sneaky about the lady but I’m happy Rowan was paranoid as hell and verified her identity first as a member of the winter court for certain by doing like this light trick to see if she cast a changeling shadow. I didn’t even know that was a thing. We should just set up big lights in the lobby don’t you think? Table that, moving on at a fast and furious pace. When Rowan also asked Jacob he said he knew Beverly, the name she gave. Or at least he knew someone with that name who was indeed Winter Court, so Rowan reluctantly agreed to let Bev talk to Jacob. Gotta look out for the kidlet. Rowan gave them a little privacy but not enough that the doc couldn’t overhear them. Lady pulled out this big ass accordion folder and told Jacob that the Winter Court got a belated hit on Jacob’s possible identity and asked if he knew of any FBI connections?


Bitch he’s twelve what the fuck do you think?


So shit goes about as well as a snowball’s chance in hell needless to say, considering pretty much NONE of the photos she brought were appropriate to show to a kid except for this vague police sketch of an older man that could maybe be an older version of Jacob? Eventually Bev gets the bright idea to talk to Rowan instead, which really shoulda been step one but whatever. Comes out that the hit on Jacob’s identity was in FBI records. Was specifically in FBI cold case and possible paranormal connection files. Was straight up a fingerprint match on a case file for a goddamn serial killer that has been active for AT LEAST a confirmed forty years at this point, at this point being because the bitch is still active and has killed as recently as a couple days ago. In Portland. Oh and did we mention that since Jacob has come back out from the Hedge the killings have been moving steadily west and north in that time? And his signature involves ritual occult kinda shit and cutting out people’s hearts and leaving them in the freezer.


Call me crazy but I think Jacob wins for worst life.


So Rowan sends out ANOTHER mass text letting everyone know what the fuck just happened and like I wanna stress all this shit has been happening at the same fucking time I WAS GONE FOR AN HOUR. AN HOUR.


Rowan agrees I should head back so I grab lunch and shit on the way since we all need to eat our feelings after this bullshit of a morning we have going and also new rule is Jacob’s gotta have an adult with him if he leaves the clinic at all. Rowan figures that her fetch has to be dead by now of an overdose or some shit but with the way things have been going recently they decide it’s better to make fucking sure. Surprise surprise, Rowan finds someone going by one of their old aliases on social media with photos showing a much older person but still almost definitely Rowan. Last update the doc could find was on a site called OK Cupid? Whatever that is? Said they were in Jersey City as of last year. I’m almost surprised they hadn’t turned out to be in Seattle too with the way this circling cyclone of crazy has been converging on this city.  Regardless, Fetch!Rowan is PROBABLY not a serial killer which I can’t believe is our new bar for how bad it is.


When I get back it’s bird convention reenacting a Hitchcock movie out front, birds of all fucking kinds just chilling together in a way that is def not natural. This is some dogs and cats living together shit. There was a raven and a pigeon just chilling next to each other. I whistled at them and shooed them because like I don’t want to step on these feathery assholes or anything even if they’re blocking my way and they gave me the stink eye but I had some choice words for them in return. Our resident animal whisperer was gone so Rowan did their best once I told the doc what was going down outside, but no one felt like talking. So we fed them bits of bread and stale chips while we ate and I sang to them because whatever and audience is an audience.


Back with Persephone, she asks her fetch who is apparently named Korey if she got any flowers or creepy shit like that, and Korey told her she didn’t but she did get a post it that had ‘LIAR’ tacked outside of her dorm door a couple weeks back which I’m sure has absolutely nothing to do with the current situation and is just a crazy random happenstance.


Pause for effect.


Deciding to get to the clinic early for our later meeting, the birds scatter when Persephone shows up which is also surely just some fucking random coincidence. Ha. Ha. Ha. She explained her possible stalker with the flowers and Rowan asked if the stalker could control birds which you know would be like so fucking cool.


I mean like that’d be shit for us sure but it’d be a rad thing to be able to do, you know? Badass.


Anyway I figure now is like the greatest time to mention my intention to go back into the Hedge later in the day once we got our meeting done. And everyone asks why I want to have “us” do that and I’m like my compadres this ain’t an “us”. I’m doing with, no one has to come with me, I’m just letting them know that’s what I’m doing. This is my stupid impulsive decision and I’m not taking anyone else down with me you know? But we a family now which like is super touching and I’m not even being sarcastic here because family’s fucking everything man so we go together.


When it comes time for the meeting I offer to drive but like Rowan’s car is fucking weird? It doesn’t have a fucking clutch? It’s an automatic? AUTOMATIC WHAT ROWAN. HOW CAN THE CAR KNOW HOW TO SHIFT GEARS BOSS, THIS MAKES NO SENSE THE CAR DOESN’T HAVE A FUCKING BRAIN.


Persephone ends up driving so I call shotgun and we fought over the music a bit but settled on a classic rock station which was cool because I knew most of those songs.


The place we end up meeting Benji and his boss at is called the Capitol Grill and let me tell you that shit is fancy as all fucking get out. No one told us to dress up though so we’re just us, but the hostess takes one look at me and is all ‘You must be Ava,’ and leads us to the back. Some people give Jacob a weird stare but fuck those guys.


So we end up lead to this crazy ass back room that is even fancier than the rest with this huge round table and a giant fucking buffet and the only people in the room are Benji and this lady who isn’t Iman but is totally Iman and is absolutely rocking the intimidatingly hot look. Rowan’s boss like I said before so Jacob hides under the table with Rowan’s therapy cat while Persephone and I get some stuff to eat and Rowan does the talking. Benji introduces Not-Iman as Panya Jefferson, the “effective” head of AER.


I tried to listen in to what Rowan and Jefferson were discussing and I think like almost all of it went over my head because I kinda missed when the start of this shit went down about a box or whatever so I’m mostly along for the ride here. Jefferson explained that AER was in the business of keeping track of like supernatural antiques? I guess? The point is the box isn’t really the same thing as what they normally track but it is an item of interest. Jefferson and Rowan figured they were on the same page for put that shit back in the ground or at least keep it secret keep it safe. AER hasn’t been able to get any solid info about where exactly the box is so they’ve mostly been tracking the interested parties for it, which was how they found us in the first place. They knew about the homeland security place but hadn’t been able to get anyone inside. This is where we come in. Like, metaphorically. Literally we were already in the room. So Rowan volunteers us for recon but wants some back up in the inevitability that things go “horribly pear shaped”.  Jefferson asks how badly Rowan expected it to go and Rowan said that we didn’t have a lot of good impulse control. Persephone and I took offense to that statement. Jefferson asked whether Rowan meant armed guards or divine intervention and IN SPITE OF JEFFERSON APPARENTLY HAVING ACCESS TO THE LATTER Rowan clarified meaning the former. Also, ski masks.


Everyone decides that’s enough planning to rock and roll on and Jefferson leaves and like it’s weird because like… she walks, but like … she doesn’t walk? It’s like watching a fucking statue move. Benji walks her out to her limo then comes back which is good because I wanted to talk to him more and he like instantly pours himself a glass of wine and is clearly like exhausted from that whole thing like the intimidation hangover exhaustion. Rowan asked, just to be sure, if Jefferson wasn’t human. GET THIS SHE’S A FUCKING MUMMY. AWWWW RIGHT NO ONE SAW THAT COMING, RIGHT? No bandages or shit!


Wait is that offensive? Uh. Maybe I should like. Cut that out.


Anyway apparently like AER was made… for her I guess? I dunno. It’s complicated, but she can be trusted and when Bertha hit the thing it woke her up in the process, so the box is baaasically hers. And anyone who is anyone who is a death obsessed corpse fucker is wanting this box. Death related fae (like Persephone and Rowan’s former keeper), necromancers, weirdo werewolf death cults, the whole nine yards of Finnish black metal of the supernatural.  Also they’re basically the black ops branch of AER, so they have backup locations and the like.


Rowan and Benji set a mission time for 10pm that night, and before Benji leaves I ask to talk to him a second. Like I was gonna see about talking to my Fetch or whatever but she’s AWOL and I wanted to go with Mi-Ok so she could drag me away if I did anything stupid and SHE’S busy so okay talking to Benji’s like next best thing right? The point is I asked him to tell her that whatever she was worried about or whatever - like I wasn’t going to go after her or try to steal her life. For fuck’s sake she’s had it longer than I have. I know I wouldn’t want to look over my shoulder like that, so I know she won’t want to live that way either. Dunno if it’s going to do any good, but I can’t not do nothing. It’s awkward.


Since we have a few hours to blow this seems like the perfect time to do the Hedge trip I wanted. Rather than rip a new hole open we head down to Pike Place to hit a doorway already there and Persephone texts her BF Dmitri to let him know what’s going down later and to ask him to come with. For some reason she didn’t appreciate Rowan and I asking about Werewolf-changeling babies.  Rowan and Persephone don’t want to go into the hedge without some kind of rope so we get two giant ass skeins of yarn to bring with us. It’s like a mile of yarn or so, combined. To make sure we don’t lose the entrance and that no one follows us, Rowan and Jacob stay near the door with one half of the yarn while Persephone and I head out with the other half. I want to find where we saw Leofric fighting Cerberus before. Like, I just want to make sure there isn’t a body there, you know? That’s all. I need to know he’s alright, and it isn’t like he has a fucking cellphone.


And I know the Hedge is rough for like everyone who isn’t me so I do remember to thank everyone for comin’ with me and remind them they don’t have to, but hey. Family.


With a little work Seph and I manage to find our way back to where the fight was before. No body, but a bunch of dried blood and scuffle marks all around. Tire tracks from some three wheeled vehicle and strange holes dug into the ground. Basically a whole lot of WTF. I took some pictures in case someone else has a better idea later. While we’re trying to figure out what the hell happened here in the interim guess who fucking shows up but three of those feathery assholes that were hanging outside of the clinic a few hours earlier. They keep saying ‘key’ and seem confused when Persephone and I demand more info. Like that could mean anything. House key, apartment key, car key, mail key - they gotta be more specific.


Finally after way too much back and forth and really I was considering just throwing a rock at them then they clarified that the ‘king’ wants the key, and that Persephone smells like the king. Or the key. Anyway which king that is - three guesses and the first two don’t count. So I tell them they can fuck right off in not so many words.


Then of course the feathery assholes prompt about Leo. They call him the traitor and say that yes he’s alive but he’s hurt. They want help finding the key in exchange for finding him, and while I do want to find him I’m not that fucking stupid. I can find him on my own. Persephone wants to head back to Rowan and Jacob but after a little back and forth she agrees to keep going at least to the end of the yarn before we turn back. That’s the only deal the feathery assholes want to make so we tell them if that’s all the help they’re gonna be they can just leave and we go looking to follow the blood trail on our own.


Of course when we find where the blood trail leads it’s a dark cave where there’s no light, and that’s when the yarn runs out.


Of course, needless to say I tell Persephone she doesn’t have to follow me but I’m going in.


Since they had no luck with Seph and me I guess the ravens tried their luck with Rowan and Jacob which went somehow worse for them. Rowan doesn’t even consider a bargain and tells the to fuck right the hell off. They try to say Persephone’s in danger and Rowan says too fucking bad for her then. No deal. Pretty fucking badass.


Jacob apparently tried to feed them leftovers from the buffet. Aw, kidlet.


Anyway Persephone comes with me into the cave anyway which is good because she hears the breathing before I do and we run into this like wall of fungus blocking the path and I can’t do shit about that but Persephone can slice a pretty decent pathway through it. It releases these gross ass spores that are not pleasant at all but I’m not about to let some fungus stop me so we keep going. As we go deeper there are spots in the darkness that are even darker than the shadows already there, and as we get closer they start to reach out with these creepy ass tendrils that look more than a little familiar so I take a risk and call out for Leo to ask if he’s here.


When we hear the soft “... Idiot.” from deeper in the cave and the tendrils recede, I know it’s him and let him know that I’m relieved to find him alive and well and that I’d been terribly worried about him.


Okay what I actually said was “Fuck you too” but like at this point I’m pretty sure he knows what I meant.


Leofric looks like himself when we find him. Well the himself that he always showed me, so only his garden variety creepy that I’ve gotten familiar with. He says we shouldn’t have come  - well that I shouldn’t have come I guess - and you know what he can just fucking deal with it because friends worry and maybe if someone wasn’t such an emotional dumbass that wouldn’t be such a strange thing. It was nice to get into some of our old banter again. It was just me and him for so long for me, I forgot how bad I missed that familiarity even though it hasn’t even really been a month yet. Not that I was gonna do something pathetic like cry.


We find out that the reason he was fighting Cerberus before was because he heard my name associated with something that some various true fae lords are looking for. I’m guessing this is the whole key/box thing. I told him to stop putting himself into danger because of me, but considering how little I listened to him I don’t see that being anything other than a two way street of fuck you I do what I want. He was hurt but recovering, but wasn’t willing to come back with us to see if Jacob could help him. I didn’t want to leave him like that but the other option was just sitting around until he got better and I was getting the impression that wasn’t really an option though let’s be fucking fair here I’d like to see the asshole try and stop me. I told him to let me know when he was safe and back home, however the fuck he can do that, and we agreed to let him be.


I’m holding him to that, he better not think I’m somehow above finding his bitch ass again to make sure he isn’t dead.


I should have said more. Told him more. Apologized. I’ve always been so shit with goodbyes, though. I’m just so much better at just fucking leaving.


We got out okay is the point here though, only had been gone bout an hour I think? We were still back in time to do the whole mission impossible shit we’d planned later in the night. For some reason Persephone got all flustered about us asking if she was gonna bring her boyfriend with her.


Well three’s company, not only did she show up later with Dmitri but some other werewolf from the clan called Jeffrey and like okay first off the dude was a scarecrow all super tall and lanky and not knowing how the fuck to talk to people so like okay this is familiar and shit.


Anyway I GUESS Jacob was listening in when the boss and I were joking with Persephone earlier about Dmitri because no sooner did they fucking roll up than no shit he asks Persephone if she’d kissed Dmitri yet.


I KNOW RIGHT?


I totally hugged the kid I mean who could stop themselves. I think Persephone turned into a statue for a bit. Look I’m not saying that this was a ‘both sides want to but no one wants to risk fucking it up by making the first move’ situation but look Dmitri wasn’t terribly surprised or shocked that the question. Goddamn girl just go for it.


Anyway bout then Benji asked who the fuck Jeffrey was because he recognized Jeffrey as someone AER had under surveillance so it was like all ‘okay how do YOU know him and why is he here?’. Jeffrey said he was there because the ghosts told him to be. Totally not creepy or anything. I told him look Persephone’s cool that means Dmitri’s cool ergo one of Dmitri’s buddies is probably also cool? Like better than average chance of him not being a creep and we were working with a little bit less than the usual suspects anyway so it was like buddy we can be beggars or we can be choosers here about the help we get.


We totally got outfitted with like bulletproof vests and shit like you see from the movies. Well sorta like you see from the movies, they didn’t exactly make them in Jacob’s size or any of our sizes really so even the small ones were at least a little big for most of us but it was still pretty cool. We had a ways to drive so it was fun talking to the black ops guys and askin’ them bout themselves between offers to serenade Dmitri and Persephone if that would help any.


We also got all this totally awesome headsets and shit and were told not to use real names, that kinda deal. Rowan got the camera on account of Rowan being the most responsible one and again, boss. The plan was for Team Fairywolf to get our asses in and call for backup of the heavy artillery variety if we run into trouble.


Like I said before they ain’t never been inside but they did have a good map for us to follow to get to the office without running into any cleaning crew or shit. Key card got us in the front door, and some good ole basic lockpicking got us into the office itself. And Diego said we didn’t live like that anymore and I’d never need to use that. Psh.


In the office looks about like what you’d expect from the robot that Meridian plugged earlier. It belongs to someone else now but smart money’s on another robot. The whole place gives me a weird ass feeling and apparently I’m the only one who has the spider sense here but it’s definitely coming from the main feature of this room which is a I shit you not giant 1950’s free standing safe. Total movie set bullshit, big enough to walk into, big lock on the front. Well I had good luck so far so Rowan lends me a stethoscope the doc had on them and I try my hand while the others look around some. Turns out the back of the safe is just fucking covered in these occult runes and shit that no one can recognize. While everyone’s pondering that I get the safe popped open, and inside that is another door. Like, where the very back of the safe should be. Shouldn’t be nothin but empty air and wall on the other side. I pop that open and across it is another office. Not even like a mirror image, clearly a different office, but one that shouldn’t be there. This is some five and a half minute hallway bullshit.


After some back and forth with Benji and a lot of cautious testing, Rowan figures that our communication shit doesn’t work on the other side of the safe door. The box clearly ain’t HERE so we don’t got much choice. Meanwhile Jeffrey just goes in and takes a look around. Old computer, calendar for 1999. Goddamn.


So we make another plan, Benji says we got an hour and a half before he comes in guns blazing. Rowan switches the camera to record instead of transmit and in we fucking go.


It is indeed 1999 and on the bright side except for Persephone and the Werewolves we were all in Arcadia at the time so we didn’t have to worry about running into ourselves in the event of really shitty time travel bullshit.


Jeffrey points out that this side is, like the other side, weirdly free of ghosts in the area. I don’t know why but that’s like one hundred times more creepy than being told we had a shit ton hanging out. It’s still nighttime, and in Belltown, so we were able to look around without being interrupted. The weird feeling I was getting was stronger on this side, right around the center of the building which we were on the second floor of. Grabbing a chair to check it looked like the weird feeling was down instead of up, so we find the stairs and go down to the basement which needless to say was fucking creepy central, red alert lights blaring ‘Chewie I got a bad feeling about this’ creepy.


And I know a thing or two about creepy.


In the sanitarium blank hallways there’s a bunch of closed doors. We follow the weird feeling to a door marked utility closet and I shit you not there was some fucked up frankenstein shit going on in there. Banks of machines and tubes and fucked up crap like that and in the middle a fucking magic circle of occult bullshit with a goddamn slab of meat hanging on a hook in the center of it goddamn.  I’m gonna be seeing that shit in my nightmares for a while.


The symbols matched the shit on the back of the safe in the first room, and this time Dmitri was able to recognize it. Straight up tin-hat wearing conspiracy theory illuminati-fucking bullshit apparently. We don’t know exactly what it does but good guess is that it’s connected to the time warp and no one fancies getting stuck in 1999 so we decide to just kinda back away slowly and not touch anything.


Since this is understandably the weirdest thing down here I can’t pinpoint if the box is here so we just start checking every other room. We find a giant Jacob-sized egg in a crate, and a head in a glass box with a lot of tubes attached and a quarter slot. Rowan shoves a quarter in and we find out it’s basically a magical question answering head. So I dig out another quarter and we ask Jeffrey if the ghosts told him the name of the box, apparently spooky scary skeletons referred to it as the “Box of Judges” which totally isn’t ominous or anything. Head-in-a-box is super helpful and gives us a room number to check when we ask about that. Sure enough, inside that room is a 4x4 box all black and gold inlay with a bunch of egyptian style motif on it. Ding ding ding we have a fucking winner.


Ultimately we decide that not touching the box is probably the best plan so we empty the egg out from the crate it was in and use that to put the Box like and Egyptian in and get that sucker outta there post haste. Second we get back to the right time Rowan closes that safe up and flips the comms back on to tell them we got it - we were in there for a little more than an hour. Like all told felt pretty good about ourselves and all. Got the box and got the fuck outta dodge.


So of course that’s when everything goes to shit.


Now the next part is kind of a blur for me so I’m working on what other people tell me. I still hadn’t slept so I was edging on the 48hr mark and fast. We were all cramped into the back with the box and teasing Persephone about having a good time being cuddled up to Dmitri when we get rear-ended by what looks like a normal mid-sized sedan driven by a totally normal looking family who are all wearing their sunglasses at night - and that’s when one of our tires blows on the van.  


We’re thinking more robots, the “family” pulls up behind the van when we stop and they all get out with baseball bats ready for a goddamn rumble which seems a little under-powered as we’ve got half a dozen black ops dudes with assault rifles and two werewolves but okay robots whatever you do you.


Persephone throws a tear gas grenade on the off chance it’ll do something and they manage to take out two of the four “robots” right away. Cept turns out they aren’t fucking robots okay, they just straight up deflate like a fucking Macy’s Day Parade balloon. Pretty sure fucking robots don’t fucking do that. While the black ops people are doing that and the werewolves get in on the ruble the rest of us are staying back in the van guarding the box. We’re all thinkin the danger would come from that end when I get shot in the fucking neck with a fucking dart National Geographic style.


Joke’s on that bitch I couldn’t do shit to them anyway, waste of a fucking shot.


Doc gets me patched up and I’m trying to see where that came from while dealing with sleep deprivation, the adrenaline shot I got from the doc and the whatever the fuck was in that dart. Like I said my memory’s kinda shady bout what happened here. I think I remember seeing a depression in the front seat like someone was there but we couldn’t see anyone there? So I grabbed a tear gas mask and swung it and I definitely hit SOMETHING or at least something made a sound so invisible rabbity bitch is in for some trouble now.


Persephone missed her calling as a WWE champion alright she fucking manages to crap hold of Invisible Rabbity Bitch even without seeing him and the doc gets a good stab in and I think threw some chemicals on him too? Around then Jacob yells for help because they got the Balloon People taken care of outside so we got the van surrounded now so after doing SOMETHING to make Persephone feel weak but unable to break her massive hold on him Invisible Rabbity Bitch becomes Visible Tall Thin and Creepy and holds his hands up and surrenders. Douche.


Benji gets the cuffs on him but I’m told right after he got cuffed he looked the doc in the eye and said “Old habits die hard, don’t they Rowan?” and like, buddy. In a series of worse and worse life choices that had to lead you to here this is the cherry on top of that fucking cake of bad decisions.


I don’t remember much but I do remember that was an awful lot of fucking blood after that. I’d be scared of the doc if I wasn’t so worried about them. Fucker ends up bleeding out there on the ground, laughing. God damn, creepy.


I guess Jacob still tried to help keep the guy alive and Dmitri had to physically pull the kid back.


Using the Balloon People’s car and the black sedan that was suddenly noticeable that Tall Thin and Creepy probably drove we leave a couple guys with the van to wait for clean up and get the shit back to AER. We say we’re good and Jeffrey comes over to loom next to us because we offered to give him a ride back so Persephone and Dmitri could have some alone time. Also because we had more leg room in our car.


I was coming down hard from the adrenaline bout then but we had to explain to poor Jeffrey in the car about what Dmitri and Persephone’s situation was because he didn’t get what was going on with them, because there were rules for social engagement and he just didn’t understand. So we explained the whole when you been friends with someone for so long and you both want more but you don’t want to risk ruining what you already have in favor of taking that risk because what if you’re reading it wrong and it’s just wishful thinking on your part and everyone’s too chickenshit to make the first step.


I guess in the car Dmitri asked Persephone if he should take her to make out point to watch the submarine races and explained where that joke came from. Doesn’t really matter, he’s a huge dork. I see why she likes him I guess. Go on girl and get you some Persephone. If nothing else for those of us that have their relationship status permanently listed as “It’s Complicated”.


Fuck it I think this is everything, I’m gonna go pass out on doc’s couch for the next fourteen hours if anyone needs me y’all are perfectly welcome to fuck right the hell off.



40 exp + 1 for log when it's up


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